The pit

I fell and fell

Finally landing at the bottom of the pit
Darkness around me, no way out
Blind, trapped in darkness
I scream, and they hear me,
Yes, they hear me, but they cannot find me
Left alone in the pit, I weep to myself
Sometimes I hear them looking for me, calling my name
But even if they discovered this place, they could not reach me
Eventually the voices fade, only to be replaced by a new set of voices

Getting closer

I like to imagine that they are coming for me
But before long, these voices begin to fade as well
So I start to climb, slowly moving towards freedom
I’m tired
I’m hungry
My hands are bloody and broken
Yet I keep moving despite the pain,
Moving towards the sunlight,
Moving towards the voices, trying to reach them before they too leave me behind

But suddenly, I stop

Some of the voices are getting closer again
I see shadows at the mouth of the pit,
The mouth that had swallowed me long ago
One by one they jump, falling willingly into my nightmare
I expect to hear screams, but they seem content, laughing as they fall
Why would they choose this hell that I’m trying so desperately to escape?
Why would they abandon their journey?
Why would they abandon the light in favor of this darkness?
Did they come to join me?
No, they don’t even see me,

So why then?

Their shadows rush past me
One figure is falling towards me
I reach out a bleeding hand to catch it, trying to save at least one person
My arms scream at the extra weight but I manage to hold on

I have to hold on

It’s been so long since I’ve felt anything but pain,
I must treasure this sensation of another hand in mine
The body swings like a human pendulum at the end of my arm
In the meager light that reaches this place I see the face
The red eyes stare up at me
I see my reflection in them
My eyes are tired and empty
My face much more pale and thin than I remember

I break eye contact

I cannot dwell on what this place has done to me
I tell the person to grab the wall
We can climb together
I’d like the company
But the head shakes
The eyes are red, almost like they had been crying,
But the mouth is smirking, as though taunting me with knowledge of some wonderful secret
Those wild eyes look up at me and the voice says

“I want to fall”

The figure starts to struggle
I try to hold on but the tighter I grasp, the more it hurts
I don’t want to lose them
I don’t want to be alone again
But the hand slips from my blood-soaked grip

They fell and fell

Not screaming as I had, but laughing and waving at me
Encouraging me to follow
To join them at the bottom of the pit
For a second I am tempted
For an instant I want to forget the world above and just be with them in the dark
But I am different than them
They made the choice to come here
They greet the darkness as a friend

I still crave the light,

Even if I cannot reach it, I still want to move forward
I hear the laughter as I climb
Getting farther away
Leaving me behind like everyone else